This morning I read “7 Amazing Things You Gain When You Don’t Have a ‘Best Friend’ In Your 20s” on Huffington Post and I found myself relating to more than a few of the points the author makes in the article. While I do have a best friend, she lives in my hometown about 6 hours away from Philly, so we rely on marathon phone calls to keep up with each others lives and don’t have the typical “together 24/7” best friend relationship.
The article got me thinking about friendships in general, and it prompted me to write my own list…
7 Types of Friends You Don’t Need to Keep Around (in your 20s and beyond)
1. The friend who always misses you. This friend will constantly say how much they miss you and how they want to get together “soon,” but will never actually make plans to hang out. Actions speak louder than words, and in this situation, their actions seem to say that they like the idea of seeing you, but don’t care enough to follow through. Don’t waste your time trying to pin them down.
2. The friend who never texts you. Being the one to constantly initiate hangouts gets exhausting! If your relationship is feeling a little one sided, it might be time to reevaluate things. Why should you be the one to always reach out?
3. The friend who talks behind your back. This might be the most important on the list, and it seems almost impossible to not do in some way, shape or form. While I can hope that none of your friends ever talk behind your back (unlikely), it’s especially important that you have friends who confront you about serious issues. If your friend has something to say about you or your life, they should say it to you, not a mutual friend you might have. It’s not helpful to talk behind someone’s back, it’s just bitchy and a betrayal of trust. And after that trust is broken, it’s hard to go back to the way things were before. Unfortunately, I’m speaking from experience.
4. The flaky friend. This friend cancels plans. A lot. Sometimes she’ll leave you enough time to make plans with someone else, but a lot of times she’ll leave you in the lurch on a Friday night. If you can’t count on someone to follow through with the plans you’ve made, maybe it’s better not to make plans with them at all…
5. The friend you don’t actually like. Maybe she’s friends with your best friend/roommate/college friend, but whatever it is, you feel obligated to consider her a friend. Well, guess what? You don’t have to be friends with anyone. You have the ability to chose your friends and you don’t have to be friends with someone just because you may have a friend in common with them!
6. The “Negative Nancy.” Everyone complains about stuff, but this friend seems to have a negative comment about EVERYTHING. Who wants to be around someone who’s so negative all the time? It gets old fast and will only bring your spirit down.
7. The friend you’re just not on the same page with anymore. You two used to go together like peanut butter and jelly, but over time your lives have taken different paths and it seems like you hardly have anything in common anymore. Don’t feel like you need to stay friends with someone just because you used to be close at one point. Sure, in an ideal world, we would never grow apart from our close friends, but in this world, it happens every day, and you know what? That’s ok.
Letting friendships go can be hard, but toxic relationships are never a good thing. Ridding your life of bad relationships can open space for much better, healthier friendships. And in this world, we could all use more of those in our lives…