Point and Counterpoint

In response to the NY Times article I talked about in yesterday’s post, Huff Post Women has an article up that points out some of the issues that the author has with the original article. If you liked the NY Times article, you should definitely give the HuffPo article a read. It’s always good to get some different perspectives on the issues!

The HuffPo author does make some good points. The knowledge that technology is changing the dating and relationship landscape is certainly nothing new, but I don’t think that was the main point of the original article (and I certainly don’t think the article implied that we women are “panicking” about this situation).

When I read the NY Times article, I found myself nodding my head in agreement with most of the points it made. To me, the most interesting thing was the confusion that surrounds how to break the “hanging out” cycle. Sure, keeping things casual with the men in my life is all fine and good for now, but what happens when I decide I do want to find someone to settle down with? The last “real date” I went on was kind of a hot mess… He asked me out for drinks, at 8 pm on a Tuesday, but apparently really meant drinks and dinner, and, not being a mind reader, I had already eaten. Not a huge deal, no, but watching someone shovel gnocchi into their mouth while sipping my Sam Adams was not quite what I was expecting.

I’m no stranger to awkward situations or unusual flings, but I’m basically a deer in the headlights when it comes to serious relationships. And since I’m pretty sure quitting casual relationships cold turkey is not the key to finding my soulmate, my suggestion box is wide open, friends. So help a girl out?

x

Talkin’ ’bout my generation

I’ve decided against an “introduction” post in favor of diving right in, but just so you don’t feel like you’ve completely missed out on your opportunity to get to know me, I offer you the following-

I am a stereotypical girl… I like reading, writing and baking, along with a laundry list of chick flicks and guilty pleasure TV shows (currently The Bachelor tops that list). I have a roommate and a cat and we all get along… most of the time.

I have a few confessions… I prefer beer to wine, emotions freak me out, I don’t think babies are cute and I can’t understand why some people don’t like sports. Also, if you don’t immediately follow the phrase “to the window” with “to the wall” in your mind, this blog might not be for you.

Well now that we got that out of the way, on to the good stuff.

There’s a NY Times article floating around the web about courtship or, more aptly, how it no longer exists. To put it simply, the article was spot on. Sure, everyone has a different dating experience, but I think we can all agree that our generation has really dropped the ball when it comes to romance. On top of that, we text in code, which I’m fairly confident is just a way to get out of making any definitive decisions about anything.

Case in point, a recent text conversation I had with an occasional hookup went something like this…

Him: “What’s going on this weekend?” This was a Wednesday night, by the way. 

Me: “Not too much, I’m too broke to go out!” I do have a full time job, but it doesn’t pay super well, so I’m pretty much always broke.

Him: “You should invite me over for Friday” I should? What does that even mean?

Me: “Oh should I? haha” I overuse the term “haha” like it’s my job. 

Fast forward to Friday afternoon. 

Me: “Soooo tonight?”

Him: “Yea” Helpful. 

Me: “I wanna drink… It’s been that kind of week haha” There’s that “haha” again.

Him: “Sounds good” Ummm… So are you coming over?

Later that night…

Him: “Still want me to come over?” I’m not sure if i ever wanted you to come over. 

So judging by that, things are going really well for us, ladies. To be fair, I’m kind of to blame. I didn’t make any effort to clarify anything (in my own defense, I really wasn’t sure if I wanted him to come over or not), so that obviously didn’t help. Most of the time, though, I’m a firm believer in cutting to the point. Isn’t texting supposed to be for convenience? How convenient is it if you have to spend hours trying to figure out what someone was really saying? Can we all figure this out and, as Uncle Joey would say, cut. it. out!? Please?…. Maybe?

Whether you agree with me or not, the article is definitely worth a read, if for no other reason than because Anna Goldfarb is quoted in it. (You should know this, but in case you don’t, she’s an awesomely funny blogger and book-writer from the Philly area. Check out her blog, Shmitten Kitten– you won’t regret it!)

And lastly, I’ll leave you with this…