Tuesday Thoughts

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Hello, 2015

resolution 2015

This year, I’m going to cook and bake new recipes, paint, make things, blog, write, save money, send more cards, travel, spend more time with friends, take some “me” time, exercise, explore new makeup, clean out my closets, do more things in nature, take more walks, make new friends, eat healthy, take more pictures, and above all, BE HAPPY.

Happy New Year!

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Goodbye, 2014

I can’t say I’m sad to see 2014 go.

Don’t get me wrong, some really great things happened this past year.

I read some really great books.

night filmready player oeyes pleaseclearly i didnt

I saw some really great movies.

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I watched some really great TV.

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My brother graduated from high school and started college. I got a new job. I fell in love. I fell out of love.  I moved out of an apartment with a roommate and moved into an apartment with a boyfriend. And then moved out of that apartment and into a place of my very own… And then had to get a new second job in order to afford said place of my very own. I joined a gym. I made new friends. I lost some along the way, too.

2014 has been a roller coaster of year. It has taught me a lot about life and a lot about myself.

In 2014 I learned…

Love really does make you do crazy things. Like stick around for longer than you should and put up with things that you shouldn’t have to. It’s easy to sit there and say what you would do if you were in someone’s shoes, but it’s a whole other thing to actually be that someone in the thick of things. You never know what someone is going through, so can we all just start being nice to each other?

There is always a way out if you want there to be. I was the first person to tell people how bad of an idea I thought moving in with a boyfriend/girlfriend was, and then I did the very thing I used to preach against! So when it wasn’t working out, I felt like such an idiot. I’m lucky to have supportive friends who would always let me vent and parents who offered to help me even before I asked.

Don’t ignore your intuition. That little voice inside your head that’s whispering to you? Accept the fact that it knows better than you do and listen to what it’s saying.

Nothing is as important as your own health and happiness.

Someone who sees the glass half empty all the time is not someone you want to be around.

Just because you post copious amounts of cat pictures on your instagram and no longer have a boyfriend does NOT mean you are a crazy cat lady. (Saying this for a friend.)

Not wearing makeup isn’t the end of the world. In fact, no one even said I looked tired/awful/insert unflattering adjective here. Instead, someone commented on my “healthy skin” and said they were jealous of my long eyelashes. I think I’m on to something here, ladies…

On the flip side… Makeup is fun! This past year, I discovered my interest in nice makeup and Sephora and I’m not looking back. Maybe in 2015 I will finally attempt to try some of Amber Rae’s makeup tutorials!

Sometimes you just have to stay in and watch 90s TV marathons on Netflix. And that’s totally ok.

I still don’t have it all figured out, but instead of letting that scare me, I’m meeting the new year with arms wide open and ready for change. Bring on 2015!

Baby Come Back

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Yesterday’s Tuesday Thoughts post was my first post since August 12th. A birthday, a breakup and a move into my own apartment later, and I’m officially back.

One day, you think you have it all figured out, and the next you’re crying to your mom on the phone begging her to let you come home and start all over. (Luckily, she knew just as well as you did that moving back into your childhood bedroom was not the solution.) What is it about traumatic life events that always makes you want to run home to your parents, no matter how old you are?

If anything, I’m living proof that there’s always a way out. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, as they say.

I like to think I’m a realist. When something isn’t working, I try to correct the situation, maybe too many times, before I completely call it quits. But at some point you just have to realize that the situation isn’t going to change unless you do. And I guess that’s why I’m writing this from the couch in my very first 1 bedroom apartment. Where I live. By myself. (Well… With my cat.)

Now I’m on the hunt for a part-time job (you know, so I can actually, like, afford this apartment), while trying to bring all the things I love back into my life. Like baking, reading, blogging… The list goes on.

Does it sound too cliche to say how excited I am to be on my own again? They say your 20s are supposed to be your selfish years, right? Maybe I’m just a little fashionably late to that party…

Hello blog, I’ve missed you.

I Am My Mother’s Daughter

A few days ago, I saw this Huffington Post article about one woman’s role as a daughter now that she’s in her twenties and it got me thinking about my relationship with own my mom.

We’ve sure had our differences throughout the years- There was my sophomore year of high school when she wanted me to “get out more,” and my junior year of high school when she wanted me to get out less. Then there was the time when she grounded me for not coming home one night and subsequently found out (through some cellphone snooping that I am still a little bitter about) that I was (underage) drinking with my friends. Not a shining moment for either of us.

I think the best thing I’ve ever done for our relationship was move out of her house. If that sounds harsh, I definitely don’t mean it that way! Moving out allowed me to grow into my own person, yes, but it’s also helped me appreciate how great my mom really is… And how right she is about, well, everything.

Over the almost 6 years since I moved out of my parent’s house, my relationship with my mom has blossomed. That’s not to say that we didn’t have a good relationship when I lived there, because we did. But having a relationship with someone who lives under the same roof is a lot different than having a long distance relationship with someone. I, like most high school seniors, could not wait to get out of my parent’s house and on to bigger and better things. I’m not sure when I realized that the latter half of that sentence was not entirely true (probably somewhere in between not knowing how to cook a good steak and having to kill a bug by myself at 3 o’clock in the morning), but slowly I’m realizing how many of the things my mom tried to teach me turned out to be useful after all.

So thanks, mom, for teaching me…

… how to make a tuna salad sandwich, even though I told you how seeing the process “disgusted me” because the mayo was so “jiggly.” (That’s a technical term.)

… how to thoroughly clean a dirty dish so it doesn’t have to be washed a second time.

… the importance of having clean underwear.

… to be crafty and creative, although I will never be as crafty as you are!

… the importance of washing my face every day, even though I fought you about it when I was younger.

… that money isn’t everything.

… how to do my laundry.

… to always close my dresser drawers, even though I ended up learning the hard way.

… to be comfortable in the kitchen, and thus unlocking my passion for baking.

… giving me room to make my own mistakes, but never being so far away that you couldn’t help me clean them up.

(This list could go on and on.)

I’m lucky to have such a good relationship with my mom. Now that I’m in my twenties, she’s more of a “best friend” mom than anything. We don’t see eye to eye on everything, but I know that she’s always there for me when I have a question about how to cook something, need life advice or just want to chat. She’s probably the only person who can get through to me when I’m being stubborn (much to Tall Guy’s dismay), and I know she always has my best interests at heart. I love the relationship that we have now because I, too, can be there for her when she needs something, which wasn’t the case when I was a self-absorbed moody teenager. I feel like I know her so much better than I ever have and I’m so happy we’re super close. I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my mom for the world.

So don’t forget to thank your mom this Mother’s Day, and make sure to tell her how much you love her. I promise she never gets tired of hearing it.

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Happy Mother’s Day, mom! I love you.

The 7 Friends You Don’t Need

This morning I read “7 Amazing Things You Gain When You Don’t Have a ‘Best Friend’ In Your 20s” on Huffington Post and I found myself relating to more than a few of the points the author makes in the article. While I do have a best friend, she lives in my hometown about 6 hours away from Philly, so we rely on marathon phone calls to keep up with each others lives and don’t have the typical “together 24/7” best friend relationship.

The article got me thinking about friendships in general, and it prompted me to write my own list…

7 Types of Friends You Don’t Need to Keep Around (in your 20s and beyond)

1. The friend who always misses you. This friend will constantly say how much they miss you and how they want to get together “soon,” but will never actually make plans to hang out. Actions speak louder than words, and in this situation, their actions seem to say that they like the idea of seeing you, but don’t care enough to follow through. Don’t waste your time trying to pin them down.

2. The friend who never texts you. Being the one to constantly initiate hangouts gets exhausting! If your relationship is feeling a little one sided, it might be time to reevaluate things. Why should you be the one to always reach out?

3. The friend who talks behind your back. This might be the most important on the list, and it seems almost impossible to not do in some way, shape or form. While I can hope that none of your friends ever talk behind your back (unlikely), it’s especially important that you have friends who confront you about serious issues. If your friend has something to say about you or your life, they should say it to you, not a mutual friend you might have. It’s not helpful to talk behind someone’s back, it’s just bitchy and a betrayal of trust. And after that trust is broken, it’s hard to go back to the way things were before. Unfortunately, I’m speaking from experience.

4. The flaky friend. This friend cancels plans. A lot. Sometimes she’ll leave you enough time to make plans with someone else, but a lot of times she’ll leave you in the lurch on a Friday night. If you can’t count on someone to follow through with the plans you’ve made, maybe it’s better not to make plans with them at all…

5. The friend you don’t actually like. Maybe she’s friends with your best friend/roommate/college friend, but whatever it is, you feel obligated to consider her a friend. Well, guess what? You don’t have to be friends with anyone. You have the ability to chose your friends and you don’t have to be friends with someone just because you may have a friend in common with them!

6. The “Negative Nancy.” Everyone complains about stuff, but this friend seems to have a negative comment about EVERYTHING. Who wants to be around someone who’s so negative all the time? It gets old fast and will only bring your spirit down.

7. The friend you’re just not on the same page with anymore. You two used to go together like peanut butter and jelly, but over time your lives have taken different paths and it seems like you hardly have anything in common anymore. Don’t feel like you need to stay friends with someone just because you used to be close at one point. Sure, in an ideal world, we would never grow apart from our close friends, but in this world, it happens every day, and you know what? That’s ok.

Letting friendships go can be hard, but toxic relationships are never a good thing. Ridding your life of bad relationships can open space for much better, healthier friendships. And in this world, we could all use more of those in our lives…

What I’m Adding In For Lent

I am a bad Catholic. So bad, in fact, that I didn’t even realize yesterday was Ash Wednesday until I saw someone post about it on Twitter. Yeesh. Sorry, Jesus.

I rarely, if ever, talk about religion on the blog, so let me give you a little background on my religious beliefs. My parents are both Catholic and I went to CCD for so many years I can’t even count. I was never interested in it, but it was just something that I had to do. So when it came time to get confirmed, it didn’t seem like I was making a choice to become a member of the church, it was just kind of a given. After I got confirmed, I was allowed to choose when and how I practiced, and so I simply chose not to. I stopped going to mass and I can’t remember the last time I went to confession (never voluntarily, I can tell you that much).

I’ve avoided going to church for a lot of reasons that I’m not even sure of anymore. My main reason for staying away is that I don’t agree with the Catholic view on today’s popular and controversial issues, i.e. gay people and abortion. But a very wise woman, let’s just call her “mom,” told me that those issues are a very small fraction of what the Catholic church teaches and only seem so big because of how they’re portrayed in the media, and that’s something that has really stuck with me.

Back when I went to church on a regular basis and actually celebrated Lent, my mom also used to say that Lent didn’t have to be about giving something up, it could be about adding something in, something to make your life richer or to benefit you in some way. So instead of not eating sweets for 40 days, you could decide to exercise once a day for 40 days. You get the idea.

So for Lent, I am going back to church. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and yesterday seemed like the perfect time to decide to act on those thoughts. While I don’t necessarily believe you have to go to church to be a good Catholic, it just feels right for me right now. I can’t say whether it will change my whole thinking of the church, hopefully it will open my eyes to all of the good things Catholicism offers. I’m excited to finally be doing things on my own terms, and happy that I event want to do this in the first place. The best part? Tall Guy is going to come with me. He is not religious in any traditional way, but knows a lot about a lot of different religions. We both believe in a “higher power” of some sort, but are open to the idea that it might not be exactly what the Catholic church says. Nonetheless, I’m really looking forward to being able to share this experience with him.

If you celebrate, what will you give up, or “add in,” for Lent this year?

I Don’t Want To See You Breast Feeding Your Baby

Apparently Delta has gotten itself in a bit of trouble due to some recent tweets the @DeltaAssist account sent to a mother who asked about breast feeding her 10 week old on a 6 hour flight. Before I even dive into the breast feeding in public debate, I have a question for the mom…

Why are you taking a 10 week old baby, who apparently refuses to feed from a bottle or under a cover, on a SIX HOUR FLIGHT?!

Really though, does that sound like a recipe for disaster to anyone else?

I’m not afraid of boobs, obviously, since I have 2 of my very own. And no, I don’t have a problem with breast feeding- I know it’s what they’re there for in the first place. I just don’t really want to see you doing it. Is that so wrong?

I also don’t want to see a couple making out in public. Does that mean I hate all couples who make out? Obviously not. And I don’t have anything against moms or babies or the fact that babies need to eat and that means sucking on their mother’s breast. But do you have to do that in front of my face? Just like everything, there is a time and a place for breast feeding and it is not in the middle of the food court at the mall, or on a park bench in Rittenhouse Square.

I’m not saying that there aren’t times when you’ll have to do it, but that’s why covers were invented in the first place, isn’t it? I have NO problem with a woman breast feeding a baby in public as long as she’s covering up appropriately. It’s when she refuses to cover up and just expects other people to “deal with it” that I have an issue. I’m not saying that I’m not capable of looking away from her open shirt, because of course I am, but I think that if you insist on feeding your child without a cover, you should make arrangements to do that in a private place. And I don’t really see an issue with that. Yeah, I understand that your tiny human needs to eat every so often or all hell will break loose (literally), but you know that, too. And you knew that before you decided to go out for the day, so you, just like everyone else who is away from their home for an extended period of time, should have planned ahead.

I’m not trying to discriminate here. I don’t want to see ANY breasts in public, period. Really the only exception I have to that is topless or nude beaches. Not that I’ve ever been to one, but it would be pretty crazy to go to a nude beach and be angry at the sight of a naked person, right?

I don’t know, maybe I’m being naive about this situation. I can’t really understand the plight of the breast feeding mom since, you know, I’ve never been one (thank God for that), but I just don’t see why expecting a mom to cover up her boobs when she’s breast feeding is bad. Honestly, wouldn’t you want to cover up when you’re breast feeding? I know I would…

I promise I’m not trying to hate on this mom for having to be in a public place for 6 hours with a basically newborn baby. I know that there are some situations that require you to travel under any and all circumstances because you have to get where you’re going, but was that the case here? And if she knew the law was on her side (which she mentioned in her tweets) and that she wasn’t able to breast feed any other way besides uncovered, why would she even bother asking the airline about their policy in the first place?

Mothers, please, enlighten me if you can…